Shed Loads of Fun....

Thursday, 9.30pm

Thought for the day - Each garden shed you empty contains at least one bag you've never ever seen before

Pug Status - Unintentionally increasing her bad-word vocabulary

It was a lovely day today on the whole, so Obi and I made the most of it, spending a sunny afternoon in the garden. The pug sunbathed whilst I cleared out the shed, collecting a small pile of odds and ends to advertise online via Freecycle, where people post unwanted items that others who want them collect free of charge. Very useful. Of course, it would be more useful to have a house with more space, perhaps with a cellar. But I am not sure I could have a cellar. I couldn't sink to those depths. I am afraid it's beneath me.

Lots of strange things happen when you clear out a shed. You find fifteen paint tins that were nearly full of paint, but are now empty. You come across the small, but incredibly useful, missing part of an expensive piece of equipment that you threw out only the week before. And, if you are a six-foot tall galumph like me, you bang your head so many times on the roof and door-frame you end up doing a credible impression of a pinball table....

Regarding the last point it's amazing just how varied and imaginative your profanities become, all too florid for the sensitive ears of poor Obi, who took offence. After I made her give the fence back, she went indoors muttering under her breath.

I think she got her revenge though - I had left my laptop open on the Freecycle page and, on returning from the garden, found a new offer had been posted, which read; "Offer - Foul-mouthed master. Will swap for mild-mannered easily-influenced doormat, who remembers to buy the right flavour Princess Mints for bedtime treats"....