There's a Nasty Smell in Here....

Thursday, 10pm

Thought for the day - You can never have too much Heinz Original BBQ Sauce on chips

Pug Status - High pitched snoring sounding like a distressed light aircraft

Another morning of DIY - armed with paintbrush and supervised by curious pug I gave the door another coat - a nice comfy parka (well, it is a bit nippy in there....) Trying to paint the ceiling I found it a mite too high, so I had to take steps to remedy this. However, as Steps have now split up, I had to make do with a piggy-back off the taller one from Stavros Flatley....

Went to Woolmer Green in the afternoon for a nice pub lunch, although I would only recommend eating a whole pub for the truly famished, or slightly insane Actually, I had the Ploughmans Lunch - he was furious! Lounging back with a toothpick and the daily paper I was slightly concerned to read about the latest swine flu reports. I thought I would ring the new special hotline for some piece of mind, but the line was terrible - I just got a load of crackling....

I hope my comments regarding buttered cats yesterday did not encourage thousands of youngsters up and down Hertbeat country, already jumping from the good ship Summer Holiday into the lifeboats of Boredom, to try out their own experiments. Kids - and adults - do not attempt this at home. You will be picking cat fur out of your butter dish for weeks....

Obi enjoyed a nice meal of freshly poached pigs liver for her dinner, which disappeared almost as quickly as an hour when you're in a short stay car park. She may have enjoyed her din-dins but, believe me, we're not enjoying the side effects. If you thought that 'Purple Haze' was just a Jimi Hendrix song you can think again....