Who's had the Coco Pops?

Sunday, 9.30pm

Thought for the Day - The scissors will always be in the dishwasher, half-way through a cycle, when you need to wrap a last-minute present

Pug Status - Belly up, in the garden, lapping up the rays

It's not very often that I get excited at food purchases - with the exception of the return of the Texan Bar a few years ago (although my teeth didn't thank me for it) - but I was taken back to my childhood when my wife returned home from the supermarket with a Variety Pack of cereals. As a kid, we only used to have Variety Packs when we went on holiday (along with any other cereal that contained chocolate, two pounds of sugar or - Praise Be! - both of these), BUT - it meant getting up at 4am in order to secure the only pack of Frosties ahead of my siblings, or finding ever more ingenious hiding places for a precious box around the holiday caravan (and there's nothing more heartbeaking than forgetting where you put them, only to sit down on the sofa and accidentally crush your Nut Clusters).

And, therein, lay the problem. Eight boxes of cereal of which only two contained anything exciting. And all of which contained a serving about the size of a gnat's swimming trunks. Which meant you either had the one box of Golden Nuggets and spend the rest of the morning licking crumbs of bird tables (and we've all been there - haven't we?), or you pigged out on all three boxes of corn flakes which, as a 'non-exciting' cereal, didn't make it feel like a 'holiday breakfast'....

Obi Pug Kenobi thinks they should invent Variety Packs for doggie breakfasts; flavour suggestions she has come up with so far include Postman's Trouser and Essence of Paperboy....

Disturbed to read about the recent jewellry raid in London, but I think I have come up with the ideal solution. Shops should surround their gem displays with the clear plastic wrapping used on blocks of cheese - it is easily the most impenetrable substance known to mankind....