Who's had all the Coco Pops?

Thursday, 6pm

Thought for the Day - If you tell someone a cash machine isn't working, why do they always put their card in it anyway?

Pug Status - Playing Pirates on the living room furniture

I have something that needs to be said.

There's one advert on the TV that not only gets my goat it also feeds it, brushes its coat and sticks a pink ribbon on its horns. It's the one for Special K with the chocolate and fruit in it where the slim young girl (who looks as if a good steak meal wouldn't go amiss), has the late night munchies and goes on a hunt round the kitchen for a snack, and there's loads of post-it notes on the cupboards and biscuit barrel to direct her to the cereal.

Now there's a few fundamental problems with this. First of all, she is either supremely dopey, on in the first throes of Alzheimer's, if she can't remember where she puts her own shopping away. Or, given the luxurious nature of the flat, she has a maid who does everything for her and puts together a little game of 'hunt the cereal' for her much in the same way that you would exercise a lazy hamster with a wheel. Or perhaps she is actually a burglar, feeling peckish after lugging a 50" flat screen down eighteen flights of stairs, who has been lucky enough to raid a flat where the owner is so desperate to get rid of this box of chaff that she has actually left directions.....

But the biggest problem I have is that she is raiding the cupboards for a recommended daily serving of 30 grammes, as advocated by the company as part of a calorie controlled diet. Now, I don't know if you have ever weighed out that amount of cereal but, believe me, you would have to eat your breakfast with the aid of a telescope. And we are supposed to believe that she would rather forgo half a pack of chocolate hobnobs or a Double Decker for a portion of compressed grain that would barely sustain a small dormouse???? I can only assume they have edited out the last ten seconds, where we see her hurl the bowl into the night sky in anger and start desperately chewing the balcony....

And, as she settles down for the four microseconds it will take to ingest such a mere morsel of sustenance, I wager she hasn't got a greedy pug eyeballing her from a distance of six inches, begrudging her every mouthful....