Pass that box of Mansize will you....

Thursday, 8pm

Thought for the Day - Never drink Diet Pepsi just after cleaning your teeth - it really hurts....

Pug Status - Hoping Mummy's tea-soaked digestive hits the floor instead of its intended target

Forgive me if I sound a bit like Nigel Slater (see yesterday's diary entry for an explanation) but there's nothing quite like the immediate aftermath of a good sneeze, especially if it was a real shelf-rattler. It's the anticipation before the event that I am not too keen on....

First of all there's the initial nose twitch, the 'slightly inquisitive rabbit' expression, where you try and shake the sneeze off at its early stage. If that doesn't work you go to the second level; the rolling of the nostrils, slight tilting of the head and the passable resemblance to Kenneth Williams in 'Carry on Camping'. Fail at this juncture and your sneeze is strapping on its ski boots and adjusting its goggles in preparation for the downhill run....

It's at this point where the sneeze feels like it's doubling in size every half-second; your eyes start to widen to, well, almost pug-size (sorry Princess!) and your only defence is to flap your hands around frantically like Al Jolson after three cans of Red Bull. You have a hankie in your pocket but your brain is wired in such a way that you will only begin to madly scrabble for it as you are right on the point of explosion - there's nothing for it but to shut your eyes, cover your face, and give it all you have....

Of course, you could just hold your nose at the initial 'twitch' stage - but where's the fun in that....?

Pug sneezes are a bit like novelty Christmas records; disturbingly loud, occur with rapid frequency over a short space of time and always leave you with a mild feeling of disgust. And Obi Pug Kenobi always seems to do hers at a set time during the day - which is whenever I happen to be cuddling her....

Pass a towel, anyone....