Be Still, My Beating Heart....

Wednesday, 8pm

Thought for the Day - If it's always in the last place you look, why can't you look there first?

Pug Status - Settling down for a pre-sleep and post-nap snooze....

It's fair to say that we love our pugs. Obi and puppy Bob are just like children to us. They cost us money, they cause us untold worry when they are out of our sight and you are occasionally amazed that something that small could produce such a horrible smell....

And, like children, they also don't tidy up after themselves. Not really too much of a problem you would think - BUT - I defy you to find anything more bowel-loosening than coming downstairs at 2am whilst still 75% asleep to water a small puppy and, in the pitch dark and deathly quiet of the living room, stepping hard onto a squeaky dog toy. If any of my neighbours found themselves being kept awake by a loud persistent noise last night I apologise now - it was my heart hammering against my ribs, mere seconds after I had peeled myself from the ceiling....

There's been a lot of talk in the press recently about NHS cuts due to money shortages but I think they could save a bundle by selling all those expensive defibrillator machines they use for shocking hearts back into rhythm and just buying a few plastic squeaky pork chops from the local pet shop. And, think of how many lives would be saved, and how many conflicts would be peacefully ended, if warring factions dug up minefields and just scattered noisy rubber bones and squeaking plush penguins in their enemies' path - well, it would be enough to make me surrender.....

There was some interesting items on the TV this evening but if Nigel Slater thinks that there's nothing more pleasurable than standing in his kitchen stirring a risotto then I suggest he should get out more - or, if this is euphemism for something, then perhaps he should find himself a hobby. There was also a discussion on another programme about when, and if, Armageddon would happen but I think some people were unduly worried - well, it's not the end of the world, is it?